An old couple is on the night of the
golden wedding anniversary in bed. Guests sleep
distributed throughout the house.

He to You: "Oh darling, do you remember?
At that time, on our wedding night ... I
had to cut my finger, so that all
Capping that you were a virgin. "

Then you to Him: So what? Should I
about the schnäutzen sheets so that all
, YOU CAN STILL think? "

Peter and the boss agree to continue to accept only those cases of a particularly spectacular death have died!

There is a knock at the door of heaven, St. Peter exclaims: "EXCEPTIONAL CASES ONLY! 'The deceased:' Listen to my story!
I have long suspected that my wife would cheat on me. So I get a surprise 3 hours earlier from work, run like crazy up the seven floors to my apartment, throw open the door, looking like a madman from the whole apartment and the balcony and I find a guy who hangs on the railing. So, I got a hammer, cut the bastard on the finger falls off, lands on a bush and stands up again, the pig. I returned to the kitchen, I grab the entire fridge and throw the thing off the balcony. HIT!
After the pig was flat now, bekomm 'I have a heart attack from all the stress.'' OK', says Peter, "is approved, come clean. '

.... Shortly afterwards another knock ..
"Only exceptional cases," says Peter.

'No problem', says the deceased, I do like my morning exercise every morning on the balcony, stumbling over so 'shitty NEN stool, falling over the railing and I can actually hold at the last second one floor below the outside of the railing. 'My goodness,' I thought ... 'Horny, how lucky I am still alive!' There comes a sudden entirely of crazy idiot and hit me with a hammer on the finger, I from rush, country but on a bush and think: 'THIS IS NOT THERE .. survived for the second time! 'I look up and see again just how the guy throws a refrigerator on me ....

'OK', says Peter, 'come clean.'

And again there's a knock at the door of heaven.

"Only exceptional cases', whispered Peter.

'No subject!' Says the deceased, 'I'm sitting on a sharp total number totally naked in a refrigerator and ........'

'CLEAN!' Roars Peter

"Tell me, Peter, why are you doing` st throws the boy over there with stones? "
"Do not go more deeply wrung - he has whooping cough ..."

An elderly lady comes to the doctor, "Mr.
Doctor, I have this wind, although they
not so much bother me, it's
nuisance. They never stink, and they always go
from quiet. Really, I had already determined
twenty flatulence, since I'm in this room,
although they could not notice, because
this happens with no odor or noise. "
The Doctor: "Take these tablets
and you come back in a week. "
After a week they will appear again and
says: "Doctor! What the hell
Since given me? My bloating, although
they are still soft, they stink
terrible! '"Very well. Now that
Your nose is working again, we want to
to take care of your hearing ... "

A woman comes to the doctor, all green and
blue.
The doctor: "For God's sake, what is
because they happened? "
The woman : "Doctor, I do not know
more ... do what I want, whenever my
Husband comes home drunk, he thrashes
me ... "The doctor said," Since I know absolutely
effective way! In the future, when her husband
comes home drunk, they take a
Cup of chamomile tea and gargle gargle,
gargle .... "

2 weeks later comes the woman back to the
Looks like the doctor and prosperous life.
The woman : "Doctor, an ingenious
Advice! Every time my husband well
civil tipsy came I
Chamomile tea gargle and nothing is
happens .. "

The doctor: "You see, just once
Keep your mouth ... "